Helping Your Child During Social Distancing and Quarantine - Covid-19

I know that you did not plan on being home with your children right now and that there is a lot of angst about the unknown. I wanted to address a few things that can help in these uncertain times.

1. We must remember that our God is in control. Having that faith and leading our children in that direction will give confidence and strength in a time of uncertainty. Isaiah 46:8-11; Romans 9:19-21

2. Lean into Christ’s teachings of thinking of others as more important than ourselves. This is our creed as believers, it is time to step up and be that example for our children. Check on family members that are not with you (by calling), and make sure your neighbors are taken care of. You can make a list of things with your children that you can do to help in a time like this. This will serve the community and give your children a sense of purpose. 1 John 4:7-8; 1 Corinthians 13; Matthew 19:45; Galatians 6:2

3. Enjoy each other. Too often, as parents, we make it known how much we enjoy when our kids are taken care of by others, like when school starts again in the fall and they get to go to grandma’s house for the weekend, but we forget to let them know that we enjoy being with them. Emphasize that you enjoy them. That you are glad for extra down time with them. Yes, this is a time to be able to catch up on those projects you were putting off but it is also a time to help your child know they are important to you.

4. Structure your day. Sometimes when routine is disrupted we forget to maintain healthy sleeping habits. The best way to help with some of the problems associated with social isolation is to make sure you are getting plenty of rest. Regular meal times, study times, play times and family gathering times as well as bed times, helps to maintain a sense of normalcy. (2020, Truman)

5. Be careful how much media you and your child consumes. There is a lot of information out there. You do need to stay connected but sometimes too much information or false information can cause undue anxiety. Fact check, fact check, fact check. If your child hears from a friend some crazy idea that they heard in the media, show your child how to find out if the information is correct. This will give them power to have control over the fear mongering that is going on right now.

6. Remember that anxiety in a time of uncertainty and danger is normal. The physical symptoms are increased breathing rate, sweat, and heart rate increasing. Having an honest discussion that God created us this way so that we would seek protection in a time of threat and discussing the steps that you are taking to create a safe place can help with this anxiety. Talking about the actual numbers of people becoming sick compared to the numbers of people in the world and the reason we are social distancing (to stop the spread and to slow it down) helps with understanding. Understanding and knowledge can help with anxiety. Remember that anxiety is normal.

7. Connection is the key to getting through this. Remain connected with friends and family via the internet. The lowest level of connection is texting, then calling and the highest form at this time would be video calling. Remember that your older children need this too. Be a little more lenient at this time with the time they spend on devices. (2020, Truman)

Helping an overly anxious child:

If your child is highly anxious and is prone to fear here are some steps to help them through this time:

• Talk about the benefits of anxiety. God created this part of our brain so that when we perceive danger we will take precautions. There is a change in routine so it is right for your body to sense that and become anxious. Talk about the precautions you are taking. (Social distancing, washing hands, etc)

• Keep them away from the media.

• Do not dismiss their fears but do not let those fears lead them. Talk about them logically and factually. Allow them to talk. Acknowledge their thoughts. When they hold them in and ruminate on them it can become much bigger than reality.

• Create an atmosphere of peace in the home with music, essential oils and general calmness exhibited by you.

• Name the positive things that this situation is creating. (getting to be together, having more time to do what they like to do, getting to learn something new)

• Hold them, let them feel your physical comfort.

• If they are getting to a place of fear or anxiety redirect them to the positives.

• Deep breathing and naming things they can touch, see, smell, and hear will bring them down from a place of escalating anxiety. It works for you too.

Practical ideas:

Start a Thank You Chain. Every time someone thinks of something they are thankful for in this situation, write it on a slip of paper and create a colorful chain. You will see the blessings grow as you spend time together.

Try to outdo each other in random acts of kindness. Make sure it is anonymous. Make your child’s bed without them seeing you. Challenge each other to serve the others in the house without getting credit for it.

Go online and create a hangout with friends, relatives and teachers.

Start a puzzle together.

Have a meal where each person in the house creates a different dish. It does not have to coordinate. It can be each person’s favorite dish. You can also have each person plan a meal for the night and everyone chips in to help.

Create a schedule but do not be a slave to it. Allow for spontaneous dance parties, random romps through the house with pets and building tents in the dining room.

Create a Youtube video of a play that your child made up. Have all the family members be different parts of the cast. Share it with grandparents and other relatives.

If you need to talk about specific problems please reach out to me. I am here to help as best I can. We can schedule a video call or just email.

Blessings and Comfort,

Judith Havens

International Guidance Services

jhavens@internationalguidanceservices.org

Truman, S. (n.d.). 2020. Coping with Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19): Supporting the Mental Health of International Communities affected by the Pandemic (Webinar). ISCA.